Friday, January 13, 2012

WTF is wrong with people, Episode 1

Okay, seriously. I just read this online:
Elizabeth Vargas will report on a new development in artificial insemination–anonymous sperm donors on the internet.

It seems that women are going out there and soliciting semen donations from strangers online. IN WHAT FUCKING UNIVERSE DOES THIS EVEN BEGIN TO MAKE ANY GODDAMN SENSE AT ALL????!!!!????!!!!

So, I wanna have a baby real bad, and for whatever reason, my husband/partner/sig-o/next door neighbor's teenage son/whatever is unable to rise to the occasion, as it were. So I'm just gonna post a message online saying "Send me yer spooge"?

Does one then go to the recipient's house and perform the horizontal mambo? Does UPS deliver jizz packages? Does one just wank into a cup and leave it on the doorstep? What is the protocol for receiving random strangers' gifts of spooge, outside of the milieu of a singles bar?

Uh, is there some screening process? Does one take the baby-jelly to a doctor and say "I got this from some guy. Can you check it for the following twelve diseases and various genetic disorders?" Does the spooge-checker then fix you with his or her gaze and ask "Are you fucking deranged?"

Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with people?

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